‘Skyfall’ Review: Don’t Bother

Warning: review may contain spoilers!

Bond, James Bond.

Unless you have a very good reason for seeing the latest James Bond film, Skyfall, you probably should not bother. For me, that very good reason was the fact that I am completely and utterly obsessed with Daniel Craig. So I did enjoy the film because it was an excellent opportunity to stare at Daniel Craig for almost two and a half hours, but if Daniel Craig had not been in the film, I probably would have despised it.

The actor did a fantastic job, considering how lame the character is.

The Story

The story is as follows (and yes, there are spoilers here, but big deal, the plot is lame anyway and I can say in a few sentences what the movie took over two hours to say): Bond is fighting with an enemy agent and M makes a decision that leads to him being shot. He vanishes for three months and everyone thinks he’s dead. He miraculously returns from the dead because someone is threatening the UK. He goes to China where he finds and confronts the villain, who is (drum roll here)… a rogue agent! Who has a vendetta against M! How exciting (not).

So anyway, this villain is captured, but then he hacks MI6’s computer system and escapes. Bond and M lead him away from London where they have an epic confrontation involving shotguns, helicopters, and a veritable army of men fighting for the villain.

And that’s it (aside from a MAJOR THING that I’m not going to say here – ask me in the comments if you’re so inclined).

What I Didn’t Like

Gazing broodingly over London.

The plot was almost nonexistent and very trite. The villain was lame. I like a good villain in my movies and books, and this villain did not measure up. The most interesting thing he said was when he talked about (hypothetically?) rigging an election in Uganda. His mention of hydrogen cyanide was interesting, too. I was under the impression that potassium cyanide was more commonly used as poison, but a quick internet search tells me that both can be used.

The Bond girl was lame, too. She had no depth. (Though she was quite pretty.) I wanted to know more about her, but there was no backstory. She did look rather fabulous, though. Someday I want to walk into a casino looking like this!

I don’t think I’ve ever looked this good.

See Casino Royale Instead

He’s also a math genius, did I mention that? And he has a condition that causes blood to constantly ooze out of his left eye.

In short, I wouldn’t bother with seeing this film. (Unless you want to gaze at Daniel Craig for over two hours and yes, that is a perfectly legitimate reason.) Save your money and rent Casino Royale instead. Daniel Craig is in it, it has an engaging plot, and the villain is awesome. His name is Le Chiffre, and he launders money for terrorists, shorts companies’ stocks (and then destroys the companies), plays poker, and dresses in all-black suits. (Note that I do not endorse any of these activities, aside from wearing all black, but they make for such an interesting character, and by extension an interesting storyline.)

I will say this, though: at least Skyfall wasn’t as bad as Quantum of Solace! Surely that must count for something.

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One thought on “‘Skyfall’ Review: Don’t Bother

  1. Nice review Natalie! I agree with some of the points you make, but in the end I had fun watching Skyfall. I liked the story, the villain was indeed a bit boring and I agree about the Bond girl. Gorgeous but her part was too small (and that dress is the casino was out of this world!).
    Thanks for reminding me Casino Royale, I’ll watch it tonight 🙂

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