I don’t know about you, but I find English swear words to be rather… uninspired. Most of the really bad things you can say in this language are variations on the same few words, if you ask me. (And English isn’t the only language with uninspired swearing. Spanish always seemed to be rather uninspired, too, though I may be inaccurate in this assumption, as my Spanish is really not so good.)
Russian, however, is a different story. Russian swearing is satisfying in a way that English swearing is not. I’ve been in such a good mood today because I was able to swear in Russian at an annoying person on the phone.
Basically, this is what happened: a couple of weeks ago, some drug addict prostitute (fine, I don’t have any proof that she’s a prostitute, but it’s basically the only thing she could be that would explain why she is often up at three and four in the morning) texted my mom on her phone. My mom politely explained that she does not know this individual, but this individual has persisted in texting and even started calling my mom on her phone.
I took matters into my own hands today. I answered this idiot’s phone calls and proceeded to scream in Russian and say things that I would never, ever say in front of my dear Russian professor or any of my Russian-speaking friends. It was a thrilling experience.
So when someone asks me again why I chose to study Russian, I can say, with all seriousness, that I learned this fabulous language to curse out drug addicts over the phone.
(Of course, I hope it goes without saying that such situations as the one I’ve described are the exception. I promise I don’t speak like this in front of polite company, in English or Russian!)