In Next Big Move, Apple Removes Screen From iPhone

Citing “radical innovation,” Phil Schiller, Apple’s senior vice president of worldwide marketing, announced Tuesday at Apple’s Worldwide Developer Conference (WWDC) that the iPhone 8 will have no display.

“This is old, outdated technology and something we need to move away from,” Schiller reportedly said. Speaking to a full auditorium at the popular event, he added, “This is radical innovation and it’s up to us to spearhead it.”

The iPhone 8, which is due to be released in the end of September, has been highly anticipated by technology analysts and consumers alike. Even before the release of its predecessor, the iPhone 7, there were predictions that Apple would be completely redesigning its flagship device for the tenth anniversary.

Apple famously announced in 2016 it was removing the 3.5 mm headphone jack from the iPhone 7, citing “courage” in this instance.

When asked for further comment at the event, Schiller specified that the iPhone 8 will be a “voice-only” device. “You use your voice for everything,” he explained. “Typing and visual feedback via a display are outdated. It’s time to move on from this. By using Siri, [Apple’s voice-activated personal assistant introduced in iOS 5] you can call, text, take photos, and send these photos to iCloud or email—all without touching or looking at a screen. Basically, it’s completely unnecessary to have one.”

Analysts noted that removing the touchscreen will save Apple billions in manufacturing costs, both directly since the glass and touchscreen processors will no longer be needed, and indirectly due to the smaller battery needed to power the new phone. “See, you don’t need this massive battery anymore because you don’t have a big screen eating up power. The new battery is fifty percent smaller but gives the same battery life as in the iPhone 7 Plus,” an Apple engineer said. The engineer spoke on the condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak to the press.

Apple also announced the phone will retail at $1,256 for the 64 GB model and $1,712 for the 128 GB model. Apple’s stock reached record highs after the announcement, peaking at $2,000 per share during after-hours trading the day of the announcement, making the Cupertino-based tech giant the first company in history to reach $1 trillion in market capitalization.

“It’s really amazing,” Jennifer Price, a consumer technology analyst at Barclays Capital, noted. “It’s like Apple can’t do anything wrong. No matter what they do, people want it.”

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Note: This article is satire! Don’t freak out too much, everyone. 😉 Seriously though, I wrote it as a joke a while back when I was frustrated with Apple’s removal of the 3.5 mm headphone jack from the iPhone 7, something that has been talked about quite a bit online. As you can probably tell from the article, I wasn’t a fan of that move—and I’m still not. The absence of a headphone jack is one of several reasons why I probably will not be buying another iPhone. It’s not the only reason, but it is a reason that factored into my decision. Anyway, this post is the first in a series of posts in which I plan to talk about Apple and my changing thoughts on the company. Stay tuned!

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New Theme: Libretto

Yes, I know I recently changed my blog theme… but I decided to change it again! I’ve been wanting to try out this new one for a while. Not only do I love what it looks like, I also love its name: Libretto. A libretto is the text used in an opera or other long work of music that has a vocal component. In Italian, it literally means “little book.” Whoever designed this theme must have some musical knowledge. (Or maybe they just really liked the word, which is a perfectly valid reason to choose that name!) Anyway, I like it because it’s refreshingly different from any other blog theme I’ve had for a while.

Vacation!

Palm Trees

Dear readers, I am on vacation and it is absolutely glorious. I don’t have to get up and drive to work in all the traffic. I don’t have to do actual work or listen to annoying coworkers. (Really, there are just two annoying ones but between both of them, they make enough noise for ten people.) And best of all, I’ll be to work on my writing at all hours of the day (and night) if I want to. Personally, I think every day should be a vacation day or a weekend so that I can write more. 🙂

Image source.

No Wednesday Music Today

I forgot to write a post, so there will be no Wednesday Music today. I’ll try to get something up later this week, but if I can’t, I’ll have a post next week.

People Love Me! (Serbian Version)

I keep forgetting to tell you about this very cool thing that happened. Remember when I got all excited and wrote a post about finding out the release date for a Russian TV show I’m totally obsessed with called Rodina? Well, some random Serbian guy named Aleksandar translated my post into Serbian on his blog! I don’t read Serbian well (and by that I mean basically not at all), but I’m pretty sure he said some nice things in the first paragraph where he introduces me and my blog. Aleksandar, if you’re reading this, thanks! And I hope you’ll come back to my blog and read more of it. (I make a valiant attempt to read yours. I understand probably one word in ten, but that’s okay.)

Update: Now this post is also on the blog—minus a translation, though! 🙂

Wednesday Music: Mozart’s Adagio For Violin And Orchestra in E-Major, K. 261

I feel like I sort of failed my readers this week because I didn’t have a Wednesday music post. It’s not that I didn’t know what to post (I’ve been planning to put this piece up since last week); it’s that I kind of just didn’t post. So that the Cause of Converting Everyone to Classical Music doesn’t fail, I’m posting today.

This week’s piece is Mozart, again. (Can you tell I really like Mozart?!?) It’s his Adagio in E Major for Violin and Orchestra, K. 261. I played it with my violin teacher at university and it’s one of those pieces that’s harder than it initially looks. Seriously, there are some tricky rhythms in there. Here’s a bit about it:

  • Most scholars seem to agree that it was written as a replacement for the second movement of his Violin Concerto No. 5. I’ve played the slow movement for that piece, too, and it’s also great, but apparently Mozart didn’t think so.
  • Unlike other works he wrote for violin and orchestra, this piece features two flutes instead of oboes.
  • This is completely subjective, but this is one of my favorite pieces to play on the violin. I used to play it a lot in university when I lived with two other roommates. One appreciated it; one did not. (The one who didn’t thought I was interrupting her study time too much.)

I’ve chosen the Arthur Grumiaux recording because this is what I have on my iPod and it’s one of the best. It doesn’t have those sickening slides like Joshua Bell’s rendition does. (But seriously, when was a Joshua Bell recording ever good?) Enjoy!

Or click here to see on YouTube

WordPress Comment Spam

I changed the settings on this blog last night so that posts older than thirty days will not be able to have comments left on them. I personally don’t mind when people leave comments on old posts—it’s just that the spam was getting to me. I do have a spam filter, but every once in a while a nasty little spam comment will sneak through. I suppose it’s inevitable, as I receive, on average, twenty thousand spam comments a month. No, that is not a typo. It’s pretty crazy and I’m very tired of managing it, so I’m going to try turning off the comments on old posts. If you want to discuss these posts with me, that’s fine—just leave a comment on a newer post referencing the post in question, or talk to me on Twitter. 🙂